Happy Birthday Dad

Today my dad would have celebrated his 56th birthday casually, he and my mom probably laughing with close friends, over a great meal and a good glass of wine.

We would have toasted him with a family barbecue, him swimming with our boys and eating a cake that my sister or I made... and presents picked out by his grandsons.

Yesterday, the family gathered for a good Italian meal, reminisced about what my dad would have ordered and enjoyed one another's company at my parents house over birthday cake and ice cream. It was the double-chocolate cake from the local bakery that dad adored.

We used Sharpies to inscribe thoughtful, touching, funny and loving messages to my dad on balloons and let them off simultaneously while singing happy birthday. There were some tears, some laughter, some reflection, but most importantly there was a family connection made there yesterday. One where we vowed to see each other more than just on the major holidays, not only in honor of my dad but out of respect and love for each other's company and shared memories of good times celebrated together over the years... and because life is too short not to make the effort.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Today you would have shrugged off the ticking of the clock as you grew one year older and shared some infinite wisdom about age...

What I want to tell you today is that although the last 9 months have been incredibly difficult for all of us, we've been trying to live life like you did... and that means out loud. Smelling the roses and picking ourselves up by our boot straps. Through the eyes of our children. Unconditionally living and loving.

That's what today means to me. Trying to overcome the sadness of losing you, and embracing your style of experiencing life... wholeheartedly. Thanks Dad for giving me the strength to see that's what you would want me to do.

Rowan sang 'Happy Birt-day to Papa' in the bathtub on Saturday and Noah says something amazingly mature and insightful about you almost daily. You would be so proud of them, dad.

I know you are up there watching us clumsily trying to be parents and siblings and friends and daughters and sons and we thank you for being the Northern Star we can look to when we're lost.

Your buddy,

Jen