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The post-apocalyptic feeling that creeps into my bones after the Christmas buzz fades away. My friend thinks it's just too much coffee (we received 6 coffee shop gift cards this season - score!) or the dozens of desserts I ate over the last 6 weeks. My muffin top would agree on both counts.
The near below zero wind chills have kept me inside and out of my jogging sneakers, not to mention a possible broken foot bone (above the big toe, which acted as a door stop when Big Kid opened it on my foot two weeks ago) and Plantar fasciitis. So, for pure enjoyment in the new year, I've been attempting some real ballsy Pilate's and Yoga moves. Side note: I am no longer 22.
My sister and her friends are doing things like 'hot' yoga and 'power' yoga. I am trying to heave and ho my way through 'Yoga for Getting Rid of Your Late 30's After Two Kids Spare Tire.' I think I popped some c-section scar tissue trying the move where you have to roll from a laying position up to a standing position... real funny. Nice try, oh DVD princess of Pilate's punishment. You and your perfect pedi and coordinating outfit. I learned recently that there is a Pilate's garb section at some pf the sporting goods stores. I am lucky if I can find a sports tank without holes and t-shirt without stains to cover the bleach stains on my shrunken-legged yoga pants. Who is seeing this lovely ensemble? Judgey Pilate's instructor, that's who. You know I am not at all relaxed in my stuffy little basement den that houses the dog kennel (mmmm Febreeeeeze), while you exhale on a beach somewhere in St. Kitts, says me, Miss Saint-Stuck-in-This-Position.
Dr. Oz: I have to inform you that the deep inhales are not working! I ate some quinoa with lunch the other day and tried logging off of social media sites for a while during the Christmas holiday. But my brain and body is as scrambled as ever. I need a cleanse. I'm not quite brave enough to do a colonic. But if I were, I'd like to vent and then release the negative toxins. You know, accept, change, leave...?
1. Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas: still saved on the DVR. It brings much joy to Bug. It brings much eye rolling from me. And I ADORE Christmas. I love Disney Junior. Would it be so bad if the cable company sort of accidentally deleted it by mistake? For a mother's sanity? If I have to watch, rewind, pause and Donald's story about not getting to enjoy his hot chocolate during the bustling holiday season... I had one measly half-cup lukewarm cocoa in early November. HOMEMADE by yours truly. The kids begged for it, then had two sips each and walked away. And it was DELICIOUS! So calm the heck down, duck.
2. New Year's Sales. Taunting me with left-over junk at 60-75% off (with in-store credit card purchase), retailers. How dare you lure us broke, sun-deprived and bored people with coupons and one-day events and points and rewards? Just plain cruel. Wait, a promotion email just dinged my phone...
3. Salt that is missing from my Salted Caramel Mocha. Why my beloved Starbucks would not replace the salt after New Year's is beyond me. We are energized about the New Year. We are tired from our holiday hustle and bustle. We need more sodium in it's purest form, to adorn the top of coffee drinks.
4. The scale in my head. The one that tells me that I am over here and lacking there. I don't even actually own a scale or have one lurking in the bathroom! My brain does all the tallying for me. How convenient of you, brain.
Half way through writing this post... it dawned on me that maybe I should try toning down the smart @$$ quotient. Although my rant list is definitely more pithy, and if spoken, would be delivered with expressive hand gestures (work in progress, OK?) here are some things that I need more of this year:
1. My 3 year-old putting his hands on my face and singing me to sleep "Go to sleep, mommy..." during his nap time. And turning my face to meet his, nose-to-nose when he needs to tell me something important and says, "Mommy, THIS. IS. SEE-REE-UUUS. Now, listen to my words." And
my 9 year-old telling me that I am the best mom in the world - and still wanting to give me hugs. Because he's a 9 year-old boy who recites stats and watches ESPN instead of cartoons in the morning and has developed an affinity for potty humor. Ugh, heart sinking. And I'll take any remaining sweet moments I can get.
2. My husband. Generous. Loving. Funny. Messy. Caring. Kind. A wonderful father. Supportive. Dedicated. #Keeper.
3. Family and friends, new and old: the fuel for my spirit. My Rock of Gibraltar. I hope I am as solid for you as you have been for me. Oldies: has it been over 20 years since some of us first passed notes or carpooled to the roller rink? Newbies: thank you for helping me see things through fresh eyes.
4. Downton Abbey. I just tuned in this week. Cannot. Get. Enough. Yes, PBS! The costumes, the romance, the beautifully written story lines. So-so-so good, me lady! "There are different types of good mothers," says Granny, a.k.a. Countess Grantham to Lady Mary. What a relief!
4. The ideas and moments and gratefulness/gracefulness that comes over me when I am out for a run. And I don't mean how coordinated I am when I say gracefulness. I mean, how full of Grace I become when I am running. Because it fills up my tank, my heart, recharges my soul and releases the ick that has built up - that I have allowed to seep in. And as a friend explains her hobbies, her activities to her children: 'it fills up my bucket'. Thanks for that one, B.
My New Year's ReVolution? I shall revolt against the monsters under my bed and the voices in my head telling me I need to do this or look like that.
I will resolve to whine less about the types of things in the first list (note I did not say WINE less) -and I will resolve to count more blessings like I did in the second list.
Like Beetle Bug said after singing an impromptu version of Happy Birthday at First Watch the other morning - AMEN!
Happy New Year! I have a feeling that this is going to be a good one.
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