I don't do Tae Kwon Do...

But I can breathe. That, I can do.

Tae-kwon-do is a Korean martial art. It combines combat and self-defense techniques with sport and exercise. I don't practice this activity, however, I admire it's controlled, masterful movements. I also dream about using these moves someday when I am cast as an extra in a Broadway adaptation of Charlie's Angels. 

I tend to gravitate toward order - so it would make sense that I would appreciate this sport. What's making me a little bat-*&%) crazy lately is that fact that my #1 coping mechanism, running, has been virtually non-existent. Schedules, weather, germs, daylight savings, stuffing from Thanksgiving, now Christmas cookies, and a persistent injury have been thwarting my usual 3x per week jogging schedule. Adjusting to life without this go-to stress-buster has been interesting. When my 10 year-old notices that I look harried and asks, 'mom, are you going to go for a run tonight?,' it's obviously become a serious part of my therapy ritual.

But a few weeks ago, I decided to go outside of my comfort zone and meditate. Stay with me here, people. I was intrigued about the practice, and wondered if I would be able to calm myself and my brain enough to get lost in the breathing and clear my head. A dear friend told me that even though I had found a stress-release physically in running, and that it was fantastic...  what I really needed was to figure out how to also be still. 

What? Wham! Say that again? Splat! And as I tried to ponder this it clicked. Be still. Oh, be still. OH - BE STILL. Duh. But it's not as easy as it sounds. Friend says, 'tell someone you are going to run for an hour, and the reaction is, 'great!' Tell someone you are going to go be mindful or meditate or relax for an hour and it seems selfish.' 

To hell with it. I was going to be out with my selfishness. I filled up on lost time with my two best friends and then scheduled time to 'relax.' When is the last time you penciled 'Be Mindful 1-2 p.m.' on your calendar? Right. Never. Because it's not in our DNA. And putting that on your office whiteboard may just freak people out a little bit. Hmmm. I may try this on Monday. 

The problem is that we don't know how to be still. We have to do this-and-that and it just has to get done because of well, all of the THINGS! But if you allow yourself to clear the clutter from your mind, you'll find a bunch of stuff in there later that you forgot about. Like that person you forgot to add to the holiday gift list - drabbit! Thank goodness for gift cards and those cheesy radio commercials with the borderline creepy dad who is obsessed with getting them and fuel points for every holiday. 

But when you can pave a clean path in your brain, oh, what a feeling! Making an appointment with yourself to just breathe. I am not saying that you will be magically absolved of everything that is nagging at you. What I am saying is that when you come back to the present, you'll surely be seeing things through a different pair of glasses. They could be rosy, they could be clear, they could be cloudy, but the view will most certainly be different. As in, 'wow - I can tackle this crap like a boss now,' or 'I wonder why I hadn't thought about that before. Huh.' True story.

And, for me, the film was peeled back to reveal a different perspective. 1. Being still always came with guilt. Like, still is boring or lazy or unproductive. Still is healing. Still is what our minds need to recalibrate. A mental reboot if you will. The key is not feeling guilty that you've taken the time to hit the 'refresh' button. 2. I was introduced this new world my friend is creating to not only fulfill herself but serve others. In doing this, I saw her in a new light. The one I believe she was meant to bask in her entire life... watching someone you care for deeply undergo a metamorphosis is wonderful and humbling and a gift.
Sometimes we feel that what we say or do does not make a bit a difference, or it's just background noise. And out of the blue, in a movie-perfect moment, it comes around. YOU affected someone else. It could be big or small, quiet or loud. It's important. Your story, your passion, your contribution - could be just what someone else needed in that moment. And you know, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Just sayin'. Buddy's right. 

Now I am off to meditate so that things like Christmas trees falling over and unfinished shopping lists and unbaked cookies and uninteresting Elf on the Shelf shenanigans don't make me feel less than this holiday. 

Namaste, fellow ninja holiday warriors trying to make everything jolly. Let's all just B-R-E-A-T-H-E.